Blog Entry

Tom is back....tell a friend...squared

Posted on: November 9, 2008 7:44 pm
Phew. First I'd like to apologize for the lack of an update for the past few episodes. If I had the opportunity to be at a computer for an elongated period of time, I would have been more than happy to develop such an update. Who would have thought that the life of a "D minus reality show celebrity" could be so taxing? I've spent the past few weeks sitting in a newly leased building in downtown Orlando, ripping out ceilings, painting walls, and inhaling dust. Coupled with traveling to corner fighters this past week and getting back in the groove with training; Thomas has been a busy boy. But my exploits lately have been less than noteworthy, but the exploits of the past few weeks of TUF 8 have garnered some attention! Let's get down to some business...

Vinny Magalhaes made Jules Bruchez look like a novice on the ground.

I've had the opportunity/displeasure of rolling with Vinny from our time spent in Vegas. By the time this episode aired, I had become his main (and sometimes only) training partner. Let me just say that he is amazing on the ground. Is Jules a terrible fighter like many interwebs nerds have claimed? No, he did beat Eric MaGee to punch his ticket in to the TUF house. Vinny is just that good on the ground.

Is Vinny better than Big Nog? In MMA, surely he is not. Vinny has the potential to be one of the best fighters in the world, but Nog's accomplishments stand for themselves. He has one of, if not THE, best BJJ game for MMA. The biggest story of that episode for most was Vinny's comments surrounding whether he was a better grappler than Nog. I never once heard Vinny say that Nog was not high level, and the fact that he said Nog's BJJ was "basic" doesn't mean he was downplaying it. How many champion boxers, wrestlers, etc. have gotten by with the basics? It has been mentioned ad nauseum but Vinny was referring to Nog's style as being basic. The comments were taken a bit out of context and caused some confusion. Vinny's grappling accomplishments speak for themselves much like Nog's do in the world of MMA.

Also Vinny's English is very good, but not to the point where he understands all of the slang translations. For example, I remember staying up late one night with Vinny, Eliot, and Kaplan talking about what cartoons crossed the borders between North and South America. One of Vinny's favorites was "The Muppets Baby". If that isn't proof that sometimes he doesn't know what he is saying, I don't know what is.

Oh yeah and before I forget, on the subject of Vinny, there are often subtle references made to this during the shows (one such is before Team Mir's run in the mountain, Kaplan references to a putrid smell): Vinny farts like no other. The man has a lot of things going for him. Great BJJ, great fighter, good physique, pretty boy.....but boy oh boy, I'm not sure if he wakes up and decides to challenge Cool Hand Luke to a hard boiled egg eating contest every morning, but at least 10 times a day it smelt as if an entire village of dirty goats had crawled up his anus and died. Just thank God that a viable option of Smell-a-vision has not really surfaced yet. Sorry if it ruins your love life a bit Vinny, but this is my small payback for almost passing out on multiple occassions.

Dave Kaplan vs. Phillipe Nover.

Now everyone knows who Dana was referring to as the next GSP. Dana said so himself, I'm not spoiling anything. I'm not sure how it can be seen through a few fights, but I'm not a talent scout...and I didn't even see Nover's next fight. What I did see was Phillipe run through Kaplan.

Much has been said about Mir/Kaplan's comments and them not taking ownership of the fact that Kaplan truly lost. I can tell you without hesitation that Dave is a better fighter than he showed. I mean really, it couldn't have been much worse, but he is a much better fighter than was seen. As you can see, Diamond Dave has a monstrous head. Some people on the show began referring to him as a mongoloid/grouper fish. Let's say that Kaplan was a super-hero, based on appearance his power would undoubtedly be the ability to either swallow whole seas of plankton whole or to run head first through mountain ranges.

I spent more time with Dave than I did with anyone else in the house, and we talked a great deal about fighting, philosophy, our affinity for different cultures, and told a lot of jokes. On the subject of fighting, from day 1 Dave said he wanted to be in "that fight". He wanted to be in a fight that people talked about for years to come. He figured that due to the size of his noggin, he could eat any punch as if it were a sea of plankton, and keep on trucking. This proved to be a fatal mistake as Phillipe has some major power in his hands. If you see Phillipe in person, he looks more like a bodybuilder than a fighter. He has veins popping out of every muscle on his body, as if during some of his night tours in the hospital he was doing curls with the decapitated heads he talked about.

Phillipe claimed he was the toughest registered nurse on the planet. He is pretty good, but I'm willing to bet there is a disgruntled 40 something woman wielding a syringe somewhere that has something to say about those comments.

Now that the fights have been mentioned, let me comment on my delicious fruit platter. I like fruit, Team Nogueira liked fruit. I ordered fruit trays every night. Team Nog didn't order fruit trays every night. I didn't eat fruit trays the next day. Team Nog did eat fruit trays the next day.

I don't see how anyone can have a problem with me urinating in my own food. Pee is sterile, and Luke Cummo is my idol. I'll never have another shot at making the TUF finals....Ryan Bader ended that dream, but that doesn't mean I can't try to emulate someone who did make the finals. I peed in my fruit with every intention of eating it if it were there for me to, unfortunately for Team Nog they didn't have the foresight to order enough food for their post-practice parties. But guess what guys?

If you are hungry, urine luck! urine......

I'll now write random things I remember from the past few weeks of the show:

Dave Kaplan really knows every capitol of every country in the world.

Jules Bruchez: "He lived, he died, who cares?" may be my favorite written quote ever.

Phillipe's "balut" egg was something else. It tasted very odd, but smelled like something that would emanate from Vinny.

Junie trains at Xtreme Couture now. Dave trains at Xtreme Couture. Must make for some interesting sparring after what Junie told Phillipe.

Although maybe it isn't that awkward, right before Junie's training outburst Dave told him "You are hot." Perhaps a lover's quarrel more than anything?

On a side note, I had the opportunity to train at Team Nogueira Miami this past weekend with Daniel Valverde, Efrain, Bader, and Kingsbury. Daniel was amazing on the ground and anyone who is in the MIA area would be wise to check out his gym in Downtown. Asides from being a knowledgeable and hospitable coach, Team Nog also cleaned house at a night of fights in the 305 on Thursday night. Also, thanks to Efrain,Bader, Kingsbury, and Edgar for training with me. You guys will all go far in MMA..........let's just hope that I go a bit farther=)

I'll do my best to stay up to date with my blog, but if I don't? You can't do anything about it because it is my blog!! muahahahhahahahaha.....ehh sorry, I'm abusing my power and I'll see you guys next week for another installment!!!

Since: Oct 11, 2006
Posted on: December 18, 2008 2:51 am

Tom is back....tell a friend...squared

Of course he was better peeing on fruit. He's a black belt in fruit peeing and showed impeccable technique.

I was just checking to see what he said about the finale and how his fight went, etc. But no dice. One post in 2 months or so....lame.

Since: Aug 28, 2008
Posted on: December 17, 2008 5:01 pm

Tom is back....tell a friend...squared

Hey, at least this blog lasted longer than Tom did on the show. He was better at pissing on fruit than fighting anyway.

Hey Tom, it's okay. Every TUF season needs a clown to provide the comic relief.

Since: May 18, 2008
Posted on: November 30, 2008 11:59 pm

Tom is back....tell a friend...squared

No kidding. Hopefully CBS paid him per post and not just a lump sum at the beginning of his contract. I mean really, one hour to watch the show, jot some notes about stuff you remember, and then spend 10-15 minutes afterwards to have it all make sense and you're done. Not to mention it'd be nice to have an updated post to talk about to show with the 5 other people who check the mma boards on cbs.

Since: Sep 1, 2006
Posted on: November 30, 2008 10:41 am

Tom is back....tell a friend...squared

This blog has started to blow. At first I thought it was cool that someone on the show was telling behind the scenes stuff but now that Tom has become a celebrity he has become to good to blog to us simple folks. Remember Tom it's us simple folks that watch the show and MMA that made you a celebrity.

Since: Jul 28, 2007
Posted on: November 18, 2008 9:23 pm

Down goes Kaplan!!!

The cat just dropped like a sack of potatoes.  CLASSIC!!!

Since: Oct 11, 2006
Posted on: November 17, 2008 10:37 am

Tom is back....tell a friend...squared

Yeah, how did you write this whole segment and not mention that you punched Kap out?

Not only that, but you punched him out and called him a midget?

And that after you punched out a midget, he denied it!

I replayed it on my TiVo to see if his knee went Mirko, but luckily it didn't. At any rate, that fall proves that he was nowhere near conscious.

Since: May 18, 2008
Posted on: November 12, 2008 11:06 pm

Tom is back....tell a friend...squared

AHAHAHAHA, oh god. Thank you Tom Lawlor for knocking Caplan out. I about spit up my drink laughing when I saw that.

Since: Apr 15, 2008
Posted on: November 10, 2008 8:40 am

Tom is back....tell a friend...squared

haha urine in the fruit tray... classic. Im glad you didnt mention the whole business with the sushi though. Im never eating california rolls again. i actually felt bad for Kaplan while i was throwing up in my mouth

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